I know that the following statement is a sure-fire way to lose friends and offend people, but it needs to be said...
I HATE IKEA!
It's true.
Let me `splain... Jared and I got a cute little storage bowl set as a wedding gift. We would've truly appreciated the wedding gift as much as we do the giver, but we happened to get about 5 or 6 storage bowl sets (and we all know that they're all useless for preventing leaks somehow except for Tupperware). So we decided to return the superfluous bowls to IKEA for something incredibly useful, like a cheese slicer! :) I'd never been to IKEA before, but heard all the ravings, so I was pretty excited to explore this giant box of interior design dreams. ... OR NIGHTMARES, as truth would have it.
First of all, we took a number and waited in the Returns section. They finally called our number and guess what -- we can't return them! The bowls were discontinued in the three months we've been married. (This doesn't make me not want them any less, but apparently, the discontinued part is my problem.) "Because they're not in our system anymore, we can't take them back. Sorry! Why don't you regift it?" Alright... fine. Maybe the cheese slicer's inexpensive enough we can get it without store credit. So we step up to the showroom entrance, and ride the escalator. Whee! What fun!
I must confess; I'm not a shopper. Unless my cohort/shopping buddy/other half Jessie is with me, I'm not interesting in browsing the stores with stupid strangers that seem to be walking in molasses or have been suddenly rendered immovable and completely in my way. This is how it was this particular Saturday night. Only at IKEA, there's no escaping!! Once you go up the Escalator of Doom, there's NO WAY OUT!! We found the cheese slicers about 20 mintues later, after wandering down their wonderland roads, past strange little cube 'houses', through shortcuts that led to nowhere, and scads of unrelated stuff stocked next to each other (I'm pretty sure there was a grinning corporate Cheshire cat somewhere, but one can't be sure).
They were 5 bucks. After all that, we passed. Now all we wanted was to get out. There's a map that says the exit is that way... but you have to wander in and out of their maze like a lab rat for another 15 minutes to get there! I was ** THIS CLOSE ** to running out one of the 4 emergency exits we passed! At this point, I was feeling that tightness in my chest that tells one "You're about to have a panic attack. You know why? Because you're trapped in here. You just want to leave, and you can't. There's No. Way. Out." I'd say that's emergency enough! ... But I didn't. Instead, I cut through the shelves, knocked down children and old grannies (Just kidding. We were almost to the end. No grannies could make it this far.), and practically ran past the cash registers with huge lines. There was the door! Fresh air! Freedom! But NO!!!! You can't go out the way you came in. You have to find another door. Well, obviously, I did, because I lived to tell the tale. And the moral of this story is -- buy IKEA on the internet (or not at all). But don't try to return it; it's probably discontinued.
It's true.
Let me `splain... Jared and I got a cute little storage bowl set as a wedding gift. We would've truly appreciated the wedding gift as much as we do the giver, but we happened to get about 5 or 6 storage bowl sets (and we all know that they're all useless for preventing leaks somehow except for Tupperware). So we decided to return the superfluous bowls to IKEA for something incredibly useful, like a cheese slicer! :) I'd never been to IKEA before, but heard all the ravings, so I was pretty excited to explore this giant box of interior design dreams. ... OR NIGHTMARES, as truth would have it.
First of all, we took a number and waited in the Returns section. They finally called our number and guess what -- we can't return them! The bowls were discontinued in the three months we've been married. (This doesn't make me not want them any less, but apparently, the discontinued part is my problem.) "Because they're not in our system anymore, we can't take them back. Sorry! Why don't you regift it?" Alright... fine. Maybe the cheese slicer's inexpensive enough we can get it without store credit. So we step up to the showroom entrance, and ride the escalator. Whee! What fun!
I must confess; I'm not a shopper. Unless my cohort/shopping buddy/other half Jessie is with me, I'm not interesting in browsing the stores with stupid strangers that seem to be walking in molasses or have been suddenly rendered immovable and completely in my way. This is how it was this particular Saturday night. Only at IKEA, there's no escaping!! Once you go up the Escalator of Doom, there's NO WAY OUT!! We found the cheese slicers about 20 mintues later, after wandering down their wonderland roads, past strange little cube 'houses', through shortcuts that led to nowhere, and scads of unrelated stuff stocked next to each other (I'm pretty sure there was a grinning corporate Cheshire cat somewhere, but one can't be sure).
They were 5 bucks. After all that, we passed. Now all we wanted was to get out. There's a map that says the exit is that way... but you have to wander in and out of their maze like a lab rat for another 15 minutes to get there! I was ** THIS CLOSE ** to running out one of the 4 emergency exits we passed! At this point, I was feeling that tightness in my chest that tells one "You're about to have a panic attack. You know why? Because you're trapped in here. You just want to leave, and you can't. There's No. Way. Out." I'd say that's emergency enough! ... But I didn't. Instead, I cut through the shelves, knocked down children and old grannies (Just kidding. We were almost to the end. No grannies could make it this far.), and practically ran past the cash registers with huge lines. There was the door! Fresh air! Freedom! But NO!!!! You can't go out the way you came in. You have to find another door. Well, obviously, I did, because I lived to tell the tale. And the moral of this story is -- buy IKEA on the internet (or not at all). But don't try to return it; it's probably discontinued.
5 comments:
Oh my, Wendy. I think I would have gone completely insane if I were in that situation...especially if I had to figure all of that out WITH kids in tow. Thank you thank you thank for the warning. Hopefully I don't forget it!
Yea! Someone feels the same way I do about IKEA!
Ha ha ha. Woah, I have a return for Ikea. I better HURRY!
Joanne -- actually, you wouldn't have to figure that out with kids in tow. They have a 'kid check', like other places do for coats. They hang them on a rack for a few hours, so there's no bulk of kids getting in your way. Just parents. At least the KIDS will have a good time.
For the record, I *heart* IKEA. My favorite lamps are from there. It's like my California Adventures in the wasteland that is MN. (The Mall of America is my Disneyland if anyone was wondering.)
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