Three apples high and on the FBI's most wanted list?

I finally have a job! I'm working through Kelly Temp Services at the Mayo Clinic. So I was sans employment for a couple of months. I don't know anyone here so I was home alone a lot. A lot. I'm worried I'm losing my funny. I made what I thought to be a hilarious joke and it wasn't well received. Please let me know what you think.

Jeremy and I were over at Steve's place. Steve told us how he'd been shooting at the shooting range. The conversation moved to how accurate army snipers have to be. Apparently they have to be able to keep their shooting cluster to the size of a grapefruit at 800 yards. FBI snipers have to keep their shooting cluster to the size of an egg at 800 yards.

"Who are we assassinating that is that small? The Smurfs??" I was so excited I'd thought of this joke it was all I could do to stop it from tumbling out in the wrong order. I sat back to greet the roaring laughter I deserved.

Instead Steve looked at me for a moment and then started explaining why it was necessary. Where was Jeremy in all this? He claims he thought it was funny but was laughing on the inside.

The lesson from this? My friends think I'm funny. People who I don't talk around think I'm stupid. I should talk more. Or not at all.

And I think that the Smurfs already have enough trouble with Gargamel and Azrael without the FBI getting on their case.

Respect the bubble.

I don't like people touching me. I never have. Even as a kid my mom knew that if I got hurt I didn't want hugs and kisses I wanted to be left alone. I miss being a kid.

Yesterday I went to my new ward's enrichment night. I wasn't planning on going but the presidency had asked Jeremy to be in the nursery. So I went. I stayed in the nursery, too. (I'd like to think I beat them this round.)

We were leaving when someone Jeremy knew from an old ward came up and introduced herself. She was nice. We exchanged names and shook hands.

Another (older) lady came up and introduced herself and gave me a hug. "I'm a hugger! I always have been. I was just raised that way." she explained. I'm sure I was wincing as she hugged me. I wanted to kick her and say, "I'm a kicker! I always have been." I think they're equally acceptable.

Next time. Next time.

Apology

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry I've neglected you. I'll do better. I promise.

Love,
Jessie

if I had a wish then it would be ...

Happy birthday, Cami! I wish you time with your puppy, chances to wear your pearls, fun yarn on sale, good times with Keith, a stoven that works properly, days to sleep in, and lots of laughter.

Here's to another great year!

Love you tons!

The most understanding men on earth.

Last night I went to dinner. Liz and I ordered the Dinner for Two at Ruby Tuesday's. After dinner we picked up the guys and we settled in to watch a movie. We got a late start on the movie and I made it through about fifteen minutes. I went to bed at 9:05 last night. I sure know how to party.

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I think it's the most commercialized holiday we have. I told Jeremy not to get me anything. And I meant it. It wasn't a test. I promised Jeremy I wouldn't give him those unfair tests. If I'm delighted I'll be delighted, if I'm expecting a big deal to be made out of my birthday I'll tell him, if I'm upset and I know why I'll tell him. I figure it's the least I can do.

Seeing all the girls at work get flowers and hearing of their plans for the evening made me really miss Jeremy. When I woke this morning I was so happy when I realized I get to see him in just three weeks from today! Yay!!

And my birthday (next year) had better feel like a national holiday, Jeremy. (:

Happy VD

not every guy deserves a first date, round two

Allyson and I sit next to each other at work. But we don't ever see each other. The cubicle wall is too high to see over when we're sitting and if we stand up to talk we get in trouble. But we're allowed MSN messenger. Yeah, I don't get it either.


Here is a conversation we had this afternoon:


allyson says: Name some professions that you wouldn't date.

Jessie says: Gyno.

allyson says: Clown

Jessie says: Yes!

Jessie says: Hair stylist.

Jessie says: Cher impersonater.

allyson says: Escort/prostitute/pimp/porn star

allyson says: Anything that smells: garbage man, fisherman...

Jessie says: Used car salesman.

Jessie says: Game show host.

allyson says: Anyone in a circus

Jessie says: Right.

allyson says: Corrections officer

Jessie says: Stripper.

Jessie says: Guy who paints the lines on the road.

Jessie says: Talk show host.

allyson says: President of the United States

allyson says: truck driver

Jessie says: Long haul, anyhow.

allyson says: transvestite

Please let us know who you wouldn't date.