Wow, Indeed.

Saw this ad while browsing online:

 It's true. If you put your bridesmaids in these dresses, people will definitely be saying wow, but not for the reasons you want them to!

"Wow. The 70's called; they want their curtains back."

What would YOU say after wow?

It's not you, nor me. It's you and Mary Kay

On Facebook I like when my friends announce they have started a new business.  It is a good reminder to unfollow them.

Common Cents

Inspiration has struck! My other half and I had been doing our thing to lose weight this year (I know, typical New Year's Resolution.) He's training for a half-marathon. I'm training for... life in a smaller body. I'm pretty sure I'm ready for that.

Anyway, the first month, he lost 10 pounds. I lost 2, but managed to find them in a I-hate-that-he-can-lose-weight-and-I-can't eating-fest weekend. Nevermind that he was running, swimming, biking, and cutting out refined sugars. I was thoroughly depressed about the whole thing. And then it hit me. A great idea to keep me honest and actually working at being healthy. This is it:

We each get a jar to our name (or initial, as you see). There's $20 in dimes and nickels to split. Every day, we get a dime for each healthy activity: no sweets, 30 minutes of exercise, and 5 fruits and vegetables a day. That's a possible 30 cents a day, with the option to earn another nickel for every 15 extra minutes of exercise. If we don't do the fruits and veg or exercise we don't get a dime. But if we eat sweets, we have to take a dime from our jar and add it to the other person's. When all the loose change is gone, whoever has the most, wins the cash / or the better prize.

I'm already pretty sure he's going to win. But I figure if this actually helps me to get in shape, I've won that much anyway! So far it sure helps me think twice about sneaking that cookie if I lose a hard-earned dime for it! Yay for inspiration! And for progress!

How to offend people and how to cure the common cold.

First, let's offend people.  I need to get these off my chest.

If it's in the grocery store it's probably an aisle not an isle.  Unless you're getting your Wheaties on the set of "Water World." 

Why do people use a picture of a baby or kid as their profile picture on Facebook? Chances are that tiny being isn't an accurate representation of you. (Having an ultrasound instead is the worst. There has to be a better way to announce a pregnancy.) 

Also, pretending that picture of you fifty pounds ago is current.  We're not buying that.  (Mine is twinty-five* pounds ago.  I should update that.)

Interests aren't peeked they are piqued.

Word verification and comment moderation enabled on private blogs. If you mistrust your readers that much should they even have access? (I think either of those is too much on a private blog.)

Just because you got a DSLR for Christmas doesn't mean you're a  photographer.  You're probably a fauxtographer.  If you can answer yes to two or more of these you might be a fauxtographer.

• Do you take pictures on the diagonal?
• Are train tracks frequently used as backdrops in your photos?
• Do you use Photoshop sans training and like your life depends on it?
• Is there excessive vignette in any of your photos?
• Do you use selective coloring and/or textures willy nilly?

And now to cure (curb, really) the common cold.

Going by the rule that it takes about three days for a sickness to successfully overcome your immune system I figure I picked up my cold on Sunday.  Which makes sense as that's the only day I've left my house lately. Whomp.

Here's how we stop a significant percentage of colds being passed around.  Make it possible for colds to be tracked.  Like I could some how tell who I got mine from.  (I'm not sure how this would happen.  It's not like the virus is going to send me a business card or turn me the same color as its previous host.  Just roll with the idea.)  Each time I wake up in the night, I call the person I got the cold from and let them know I'm up again.  If it was from a kid I call their parents.  How many more parents would be so careful to have their kids cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough?  I bet more grownups would be more aware as well.




I have more offense to dole out over the next few weeks.  Comment and let me know what irks you.  Especially if I do it.  (Over use of parenthesis is a fairly obvious one.)





*Yes, twinty.


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It makes me cringe. And it makes you look stupid.

If it's a list or a line it's a queue not a cue.

Interests aren't peaked they are piqued.

There are so many more.  But I'm at my weekly allowance for snide.

Yahoo, it's good to know you're thinking of me.

Today I cleaned out the spam folder for my Yahoo! account. I get lots of spam there because it's the address I provide companies when they ask for one. Like to get free stuff. (Yay for free stuff!)

This is what Yahoo! lovingly placed in the empty spam folder after I'd deleted all the emails advertising products I didn't want.




Yes, it's an ad for a product I don't want.

Yahoo, how'd you know that's exactly what my spam folder needed? You're the best.

Can does not equal should.

I die a little inside when I see babies dressed in camo.


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Color-Blind

I realize that I am no fashionista. (Looking at old high school pictures this weekend is solid proof!) BUT I like to think that I have some sort of good taste in me somewhere. It's just usually outside of my price range. But I digress.

I admit my taste can be a bit boring. I like timeless pieces, classics that won't go out of style in, like, 2 days. My favorite are styles from the 40's or 50's, clothes that were actually CUTE. If I was someone that was so trendy I didn't have to follow trend, I would wear that stuff. (I'd also have to be a size 4, so I guess that's moot.)

Anyway, I was browsing etsy.com, that adorable little online store for all things handmade, and I ran into these:

Help me out here, WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THESE ARE CUTE?!?! I'm serious. Am I the only one whose eyes are bleeding at the sight of these combinations? Paisleys and polka-dots? Lime green and magenta? I think any one of these fabrics is busy enough to stand on its own... on the store shelf... collecting dust...

I suppose I'm just out of the loop... I guess I should apologize for mocking my little brother when he wore stripes and plaids together 15 years ago. How could I have guessed he was so fashion forward?

Professional "Fauxtographers"

Ok, in the same vein as Jessie's previous blog 'Turn, Turn, Turn', THIS. HAS GOT. TO. STOP.

What's with the creepy wedding / engagement photos I've seen recently? It's like photographers everywhere are taking ideas from Awkward Family Photos or something.

I submit for your review Exhibits A, B, and C.

EXHIBIT A

Why is the photographer taking pictures of their bums? Why do they think anyone wants to see that? Is the bride or groom a gold-digger? A pick-pocket? Exactly what is going on here, anyway?? ... No, you know what? I don't want to know!

EXHIBIT B

This one? This one is just creepy. It's a beautiful day, beautiful church, beautiful couple... Or is that FIVE beautiful couples?? How embarrassing that they all chose the same dress, the same wedding day, the same church...! Or rather, how embarrassing that the photographer thought, surely more is always better!! So I'll just use my magic wand Photoshop to make more of them! What a great idea!

EXHIBIT C

Again, with the awkward groping! It's a good thing these two are engaged -- because it looks like she's ... uh, \ leaning. Good thing their poses aren't reversed! Though either way it looks like evidence of harrassment. I imagine him thinking -- "This isn't really happening... Just go to my happy place..."

In light of the submitted evidence, I propose we move for these photographers be ordered to cease and disist these abhorrent practices. Anyone second the motion? All in favor?

Turn, turn, turn.

Most of you (my one reader) know I have a digital SLR camera. I love my camera. I take decent pictures with it. I don't know all the ins and outs but we get along just fine.

I have noticed there is a rash of moms who get a nice-ish camera and feel all professional. One of their biggest and most annoying sins is the falling kid pics. Their children are not, in fact, falling. Their fauxtographer* of a mother is all artsy and tilts the camera to an amazingly odd angle. See below for example.

Child standing.

Same child, only his mother got a camera for her birthday and is now a fauxtographer.

This has to stop. It's not ok. If you or anyone you know does this please tell them we're all cringing.

* Sound it out.