Friend or FIEND!?

It’s Sunday night, 10 p.m., and there’s a knock at the door. Or was it the doorbell? I don’t remember. But I do remember thinking, “What the…? Who drops by unannounced this late at night?!” Well, we’ll never know. But when I opened the door, I understood why they preferred to keep their anonymity.

THIS was on the doorstep:


Flikr.com (by Tizzie)

 An Amish Friendship Bread starter. I’m sure you’ve gotten one before. This glob of off-gassing goo in a plastic bag. There’s instructions that come with it, too. For about a week you mush/squeeze the bag. Every. Day. Then you add to it and mush it for a few days more. Eventually, you add to it again, separate it into four new starters, and out of the rest of the batter finally make the actual bread.

I must admit, it is yummy! And I hear other people love getting starters. But seriously, I think it’s more of a curse than a blessing! Am I the only one who does?

I mean, think of it as a bad mother-in-law (not mine, of course – she’s amazing and I like her). It REQUIRES your attention every day while it’s in your home, and guilts you into fulfilling its demands because it cares. Or rather, because someone who gave it to you cares.

OR, think of it as a disease, being passed from one person to another. It takes about a week to get over, and the poor unfortunate souls around you will probably get it after you do.

I’ve decided for this reason, I am renaming it “Amish Enemy Bread”. I can just picture my nemesis (whoever they may be) drumming their fingers together Mr.-Burns-style as they plot to drop off a starter, “Heh, heh, heh…”. The fiend!! Oo! Maybe I should call it “Amish FIENDship Bread” instead. What do you think?

Don’t get me wrong. If it was YOU who dropped off the starter, don’t feel too bad! I don’t consider you an enemy. In fact, you probably ARE my friend. And when I make the bread tomorrow, I will enjoy it considerably (after my weigh-in, of course). P.S. I won't be passing on starters. You can all relax now. Because really, I think the mark of true friendship would be seen less in dumping fermented dough off on a doorstep and more in making the bread oneself, inviting friends over to share, and laughing about it all together…

Want to come over for bread tomorrow?